A Phone call from Texas
J: How the fuck are you?
N: J! What are you doing in Texas?
J: I’m drilling baby. But how are you?
N: I…I just took a pretty big shit kicking
J: How bad?
N: Remember that time with the Polar bear?
J: You had a Theo night?!!
N: I had 4-5 days of that.
J: Jesus Christ.
N: It was entirely unpleasant.
J: I’d say. We were worried you were going to die that night
N: Hahaha yeah so worried you assholes took pictures of me!
J: We didn’t know what else to do. You were lying on the bear putting your fingers through its dead teeth and talking to it.
N: Theo will always remain my spirit animal.
J: Was it any help?
N: I think what’s helped is that we partied really really hard in Uni. The first few chemo’s were like a bad hangover. It all helped me deal.
J: What’s it like now?
N: It’s like someone poisoned you and added a hallucinogen. Being in a chemo hole, there’s no sense of time or identity. Even coming out of it I still struggle with being here, being real. Everything is so surreal.
J: So this is a bad trip?
N: I don’t know. I mean sometimes, yeah sure it’s fucking dark. It’s like being in the Joker’s head. But other times, I feel like I’m supposed to be getting something from it. I’m supposed to do something with this illness, but my ability to think and reason is impaired for the first 6 days post chemo. So I just end up trying not to puke my guts up or be an asshole.
J: This reminds me of your 22nd birthday. We were totally cut, and then you ordered those 22 shots. And those girls tried to wheel their way into our table to get a free drink.
N: Hahaha and I told them they had to be a hell of a lot prettier to get a shot from us.
J: Yeah. Classic you.
N: Which explains why Josh always got the girls and you and I were just drunk.
J: Somethings in life are priceless. For everything else there’s mastercard.
N: J, I look like shit man. My hair’s fucking falling out, I look pale, and I think I’ve gained a bit of weight.
J: Can’t be worse than the time you told that girl you were a millionaire, made out with her and then puked into the foam on the dance floor. I mean you really looked like shit then. Your eyes were in the back of your head and everything.
N: Hahaha you asshole. You have a unique way of making me feel better.
J: Hahaha look it’s tough I get it man, but bottom line this isn’t the first time you’ve taken a shit kicking.
N: I’m not 21 anymore man. I’m fucking feeling it.
J: Yeah we’re both getting old. I know we can’t do the things we used to do anymore. But you’re not fucking old yet, you’re not done yet. I’m sure chemo is unimaginably bad, but we’re here for you man.
N: I just want it to be over
J: It will be soon. But in the meantime sack up buttercup.
N: True. True.